It's a bella vita

Life is beautiful. New life is epic.

We are embarking on a whole new journey. A whole new way of existing. I have a life force inside of me, and it feels amazing. Hardly a minute passes without thinking of the small person taking shape in my womb. It's remarkable, really.

During the 11-week ultrasound, the little booger was upside down sleeping (or something?), but almost immediately after the midwife prodded my stomach, we saw a hand move. Then an arm. And then it looked almost like the baby was dancing. I laughed every time the baby moved, with tears streaming down my face. It was breathtaking and overwhelming.

I prayed and anxiously awaited this special time. Twelve weeks down, and I'm looking forward to all of the experiences to come in the next 28!

Kudos to the bloggers out there...

Before I started this blog, I had so many thoughts of "if I had a blog, I would sooo put this on there."  Almost a daily thing.  But now that I have started a blog I struggle with what to say. No sense in spouting off nonsense to "hear the sound of my own voice," blog style.  I guess I need to develop my niche. Find my angle. Read more and find inspiration. I'll try to keep the nonsense to a minimum ;)

I'm totally in love with...

....this OPI "Expresso" nail polish...



And this adorable wreath alternative from etsy.com




And this super cute outfit...



And this yummy sweet and slightly salty, buttery delicious caramel sauce from melskitchencafe.com

                                                         
So these are my obsessions at the moment. What are yours?

Re-purposed food

I used to dread leftovers. The dreaded food that takes up space in the refrigerator, that is avoided and ignored while we wait to see if the other person is going to cave in first and eat it. The food no one wants to eat, because why would you eat something you already ate when you can just cook something new? But letting that food go to waste is pouring money down the drain. So why not make it into something new? Here are some ways I re-purposed my leftovers over the last two weeks.

Initial Meal:
Garlic chicken: chicken breasts marinated in lime juice, garlic, cilantro and olive oil, then grilled.
Cowboy beans: pintos cooked with ham hock, garlic, onion, garlic, bacon, chorizo, jalapeno, bay leaf,  and cumin. I made a double recipe because I had a 2 lb bag of beans and a large ham hock, so why not?

Re-purposed:
Cooked the leftover chicken over low heat with a can of diced tomatoes with green chilis, some salsa and spices, then shredded it. Made some rice that I cooked with chicken stick and seasoned with lime zest, served cowboy beans over it, topped it with some of the shredded chicken, cheese, sour cream, scallions and a slice of avocado. Delicious!

Re-purposed again as taquitos:
I had some leftover flour tortillas. I "refried" the cowboy beans, layered on some shredded chicken and cheese, then rolled it up and pinned it with a toothpick. Dropped it in the deep fryer for a few minutes until crispy. Voila! Taquitos! Dipped in sour cream and salsa and they were amazing.

Maybe the Food Network would like to give me a show...hmmm, what could my show be called? The Leftover Lady...nah. 

And just for good measure...since we're in the kitchen cooking, I'll leave you with my download of the week to jam out to and put us in a good mood to think and re-invent our ingredients.

Ben Folds "You Don't Know Me" (feat. Regina Spektor)

This song is so catchy and bouncy. Every time it comes on I can't stop my head from bobbing side to side. And Regina Spektor is sheer genius. I love her completely. I hope you like it!

The meal plan

I've found that meal-planning and budgeting go hand-in-hand. I chart out a dinner plan for two weeks at a time and it helps me stay on task at the grocery store, make sure I buy/use ingredients in a good time frame, eat or re-purpose leftovers, plan ahead around busy days or late nights, multi-use expensive ingredients, and mainly eliminate the "oh crap, what am I cooking for dinner tonight?" conversation. So here is the meal plan I am using this week:

Sunday: grilled margherita pizza. Scratch-made dough, fresh buffalo mozzarella and fresh basil
Monday: penne pasta w/ a homemade red sauce and roasted squash, onions and bell peppers.
Tuesday: venison tacos, Spanish rice and black beans
Wednesday: leftover pasta
Thursday: spaghetti w/ meat sauce, garlic bread and salad
Friday: pot roast over rice
Saturday: birthday party
Sunday: lemon shrimp scampi served over linguine, roasted broccoli
Monday: garlic chicken, Cowboy Beans (Mexican Made Easy recipe)
Tuesday: pot roast leftovers
Wednesday: garlic chicken leftovers
Thursday: shrimp scampi leftovers
Friday: marinated grilled venison loan with hand-cut sweet potato fries
Saturday: jambalaya with shrimp and leftover chorizo from the Cowboy bean recipe


I hope this inspires you to start meal-planning! I'm always looking for new things to try, so if you'd like a recipe from me or have one to share I would love to hear it!

Words to my child

I started this blog as a place to talk, have fun, and share things. In life I am a happy, upbeat positive person. I don't allow myself to show anyone when I am feeling anything less than happiness. Maybe that doesn't make me real? I just don't want to bring people down, I don't want to show my weakness, I want to be full of grace in all things. But this feels good. Can I let my guard down a little and share a piece of my heart with you? Share something with you that I haven't shared with anyone else?

Monday, Nov 1, 2010

To my beautiful child,
We don't know each other yet- it'll be some time before God "knits you in my womb" (we hope!) but the thought of you intoxicates me. I have loved you for so long, I have dreamed of your face, imagined the way you'll feel in my arms, singing to you and covering you with love. Your daddy and I have been married for almost 6 1/2 years and to me, it felt like this time could just not get here fast enough. (He's sleeping right now and looks absolutely adorable.) But I know God has a purpose and a plan for our marriage, and the reward has been great. I have had to trust in His timing and ask God to give me peace and patience while he worked things to His design. I have so many plans for you-- not as in controlling your life and decisions, but as in who you will be as a person. A kind, warm, compassionate, driven, successful, humble, motivated Christian person who people will love, respect and admire. I pray that I will serve you well, that I will do my job, that I won't let you down. This is a love letter, my precious. I want you to know, as a mere glint in your father and mother's eye, you have always been loved and will always be loved. I cannot wait to share our lives together!

Heart,
Your Mom

Try and try, and try....and try again

Today I just want to throw my hands up in the hair and say, "I quit! I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore!" Unfortunately, if I allow myself to quit and be done, I won't become a mother. I am so over this.

The Hubby is acting like an a-hole. I'm sure he is just reacting to me and my less-than-sunshine-and-puppies attitude, but I just don't think he gets it. He doesn't get that I've worked 7 days straight, just got home from an out-of-town working weekend, and I am always emotional when I'm tired. Last night, as soon as I felt the undeniable pang of a menstrual cramp my heart tightened like a fist was around it and I couldn't catch my breath. And I'm just so angry. A friend and I and our respective spouses were all ready to start trying in February. Month two, mission accomplished for her. And I am ecstastic for them! Two weeks ago, my close friend at work and her husband started trying and BAM! Pregnant their first month. We were very excited that we might only be two weeks apart and could share in the joys and pains of first time pregnancy together. Nope. Once again I've been left disappointed, so angry at the sight of blood it makes my eyes well up. I don't want to chart days and pee on sticks and practically drag my husband to bed with no regard to his utter exhaustion.

The first four of the seven stages of grief are: shock & denial, pain & guilt, anger & bargaining, "depression" & reflection. The first month I was definitely in denial. I had convinced myself that I was pregnant. As the months have passed I've told everyone that I wasn't stressed about it. That I was trusting in God's timing. That I was okay with letting it "be what it will be."  But in my heart of hearts I have sailed through all of those emotions listed above. Right now I am angry and fighting the "depression" bug. My mind says: It's not working. What is wrong with me? Is God punishing me? What have I done wrong? What if I'll never be called "Mama"?  Will he love me regardless? I don't want to unburden myself on my husband because 1) He doesn't understand. 2) I don't want him to feel guilty. 3) I don't want him to know how weak I am.

I'm done with trying. I don't know if I have enough emotional energy left in me. I want to be hopeful. I want to fight back and say that I went through it all with dignity and strength, that I kept my grace and composure. But really I just want to throw something, to break something, to rail against God, to surrender to the darkness that I feel pulling at my ankles, to bathe in my self-pity. It's so unbecoming, isn't it?  

Forgive my absinthe...

Time flies when you're having fun. When I started this lovely adventure, I had intended to post at least every other day, but the days go by and I'm swamped in my new position. I know, right?! A new position. I'm very blessed to have been asked to help start a new department at work. I definitely think it will play to my strengths, and it will keep me busy (as proven already by my absence here). 

The least I can do is offer up my selections for this week's Must Downloads... so here are the goods.

First up is Cee Lo Green's "Love Gun" feat. Lauren Bennett off of the album The Lady Killer. This old-skool, funky James Bond-esque song has such a catchy horn line hook. It is just so cool and groovy. Not too mention Lauren's vocals are as hot as she is. Just sayin'

Next is Ray LaMontagne "Hold You in My Arms". I can't help but want to grab my man and dance in the living room when I hear this song. His raspy, pleading voice is addicting.

Last, but not least, is "Awake My Soul" by Mumford & Sons. The build-up is huge and the reward is worth the wait. This is my go-to song on the way to work...by the time I get to the end, I'm all awake and jamming out. Who knew banjo brought so much happiness?

I've shared some of my can't-live-without songs. I'd love to hear about what songs move you too.

Family time

Today I ate what must be the food of the gods, the delectable mouthful that reminds me of summer days with the family, the amazing slow-cooked pig. Good lord, I'm telling you. We cook it on the pig-cooker, sopped with a cider vinegar and pepper sauce. It's an exercise in self-control to keep your fingers out of that tender pork. So y'all have a great holiday weekend, I'm going to eat some watermelon.

We weren't apocolypsed...try quinoa!

If you didn't catch the global news that the end of the world was predicted to start on Saturday, May 21, 2011, you didn't miss anything anyways. For the "End Days" people to think that they had some inside scoop that neither the angels in Heaven, nor the Son of Man had is just plain ridiculousity. But I must say, if it caused even one person to repent and come to Christ, then I rejoice in that.

Saturday, while all of that was not going on, I was cooking quinoa for the first time. I liked it. I made a dressing of red wine vinegar, fresh-squeezed lime juice and EVOO, then added cherry tomatoes, black beans, cilantro, lime zest, red onion, jalapeno, and the quinoa. I served it with shrimp sprinkled with S&P and paprika, then sauteed. They went in a sauce of lemon juice, EVOO, a touch of honey, and some Grey Poupon. It turned out beautifully! The quinoa was really good...the texture was familiar, kind of like grits meets rice.  

Speaking of grits, tonight we are having breakfast for dinner. We'll have country sliced ham, cheesey grits, eggs, and buttermilk biscuits. I'm salivating already!

I hope ya'll had a great weekend too, filled with good food and fun times!

Mmmmm

Mmm, just had salty, delicious herb, garlic and lemon rotisserie chicken with cabbage cooked with ham hock and a cucumber, tomato and red onion salad. So yummy. Here's a pic (crappy, only had my iPhone on hand) but I wanted you to see the pretty brown crispy skin. It's not loading now, but I'll get it soon.

I'm totally in love with...

This necklace...and more like it at http://www.etsy.com/
It's new jewelry made from old things. It is just so romantic.

 And this....

Uncut diamonds. Extraordinary. I'm hoping this might end up on my right hand in a few years when the tenth anniversary rolls around...a girl can dream, right? http://www.diamondintherough.com/


And lastly,

Nutella. *drool*  It's not as opulent as uncut diamonds, or as trendy as vintage-inspired necklaces, but slap your mama and call her Sally, this is ahhh-mazing.

What are you totally in love with?

This week's Must Download

It's time to live up to my blog name and give you some of my Must Downloads this week. I want to figure out how to add music clips in my blog, but in the meantime it's coming in the form of a playlist.

Here are a few of my can't-get-enough-of songs right now:

Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi feat. Jack White "Two Against One". I love it, I love it, I love it. It's cool, with a sexy groove. http://romealbum.com/

Next is St. Vincent "Marry Me". Her voice is haunting, the feel is catchy and I just want to hit repeat and sing it with her again and again.

My last one (I can't lay out all my good stuff at once, right?!) is Fiona Apple "Extraordinary Machine". I can't even begin to tell you...the use of double reeds (yes, that's a bassoon) and marimba give a Fantasia-esque feel to the song. The timbre of her voice is so warm and jazzy.

I hope you check them out. I'd love some feedback :)

Oh, and my food pairing for today's musical selections: watermelon and strawberry salad with a squeeze of lime juice and a little touch of mint leaves. Yum!

So many things I wish I knew how to do...

...like add music clips
...like write code to make the font do cool things on my "Things I talk about" gadget
...like finding other blogs to follow that I would like
...stuff like that.

I get overwhelmed when I'm not competent at something. Instead of jumping into what I'm not good at, I'd rather stick to what I know. And that gets me no where. And I don't like that particular quality in myself. Once I do get into something new, I want to suck it all up like a sponge, but my initial feeling of being overwhelmed can be paralysing.

who's timing is it anyways?

*A fair warning to any men potentially about to read this-- I may mention things like "periods" and "ovulation" and other things that make men light-headed. Proceed with caution* ;)

Since The Hubby and I finally decided to try to have a baby, I have been wanting to scream it from the mountaintops! I want to tell everybody I see. The thing is though, we both want to keep it between the two of us...our little secret...something precious for us to share. Well, easier said than done. I just assumed I would pick the conception date off the calendar, do the deed, and pee a positive. I simply assumed that I would only have to keep our little secret (*whisper* we're about to be parents) for a few weeks, then we would be able to share the news with everyone we know... but as the saying goes, "the best laid plans...."

If you knew me, you'd know that me trying to keep that news between the two of us is as likely as you being able to fill up your SUV for $40 tomorrow...ain't gonna happen. So I told a girlfriend at work. And wouldn't you know it, her and her husband were about to start trying that month too. So now I had a fellow ovulation-obessed friend to go through all of these exciting things with. We'll call her Fertile Myrtle.

The end of February/early March was the first month we made a crack at it...I just KNEW I was pregnant. I got an early pregnancy test (by the way, I totally dipped the wrong end of the stick the first time) and it was negative. I told myself, "maybe it was just too early for an early predictor." So I waited until the day before I was supposed to start, took another one. Negative. In my head, I'm still finding ways of talking my way out of a negative. I don't start Wednesday, don't start Thursday, finally take another test Friday...still negative. I had my mini-meltdown, told myself to have a meeting with reality, and lo and behold I started not fifteen minutes later. I'm pretty sure that my brain convinced my uterus to cooperate with my craziness.

April comes along...per my friend, Fertile Myrtle, we both decide to get some ovulation predictor strips (from the Dollar Store, mind you...we walk up to the check-out counter with 10 ovulation tests and 4 pregnancy tests and get a look from that cashier like we have lost our ever-loving minds). So we are anxious to test 'em out. We go to the private restroom at work. I go first, sit the strip on the shelf over the sink so it can do it's thing for the next three minutes, and leave so she can come in and pee on hers. When she walks out, she is shaking her head in confusion. She said, "Girl...where did you put your pee?" I told her I put it in the big well in the middle and she died laughing. I coated the results strip with urine. Good lord. At least it was only a dollar, right?  

No luck this month either. 0 for 3. I guess I have broken that little secret of ours by telling the world. But you won't say anything, will you?

I have learned that my timing is irrevelent. I have had a not-so-gentle reminder that I am not in control. As a believer, I know the Psalm is true: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not the knitter.

A glorious bite of NC

I adore going to the Farmer's Market. I swear the produce just tastes better. It's like taking a big tasty bite of North Carolina and coming up with a juicy smile. This weekend The Hubby and I bought bags full of asparagus, juicy tomatoes, English cucumbers, red onions, baby squash, and peaked-head cabbage. I can't wait to tell you all of the plans I have for these gems.

First and foremost, something that just screams "SUMMERTIME!" is a cucumber/tomato salad. The English cucumber is less bitter, with fewer seeds than regular cucumbers. Pair that with farm-fresh tomatoes, thinly sliced red onion, a healthy sprinkle of red wine vinegar and olive oil, finished with S&P to taste and you've something beautiful.

Tonight, we're grilling out wild game with some of these farm-fresh ingredients. I'll be sure to take a picture and fill you in on the details.  

First post.

Good day! In the words of the Rolling Stones, please allow me to introduce myself.

Here are some of my goals and motivations for finally joining the blogosphere: I am a passionate person and I love to share the things I'm passionate about with others. I have a lot to say, and I tend to get myself into situations that end in hilarity. I love telling stories. Of course, I think I have good taste (why else would I listen to the music I do, read the books I do, eat the food I do, watch the TV shows that I do...right?!)  I also feel like I'm in the midst of big times in my life and I want to document these moments and share them with you (is there anyone out there?). Maybe also use this as a form of therapy...a cyber-couch of sorts, if you will.

So, some things about me: I love to cook and eat good food. I'm on a budget, so most of the good food I eat, I make. I love experimenting with ingredients and tweaking recipes in pursuit of something spectacular. I love discovering new music, and once I find something that grooves and moves me, I want to share it! I love playing music (I am a trumpeter) and the thrill of being on-stage, playing for a live audience, gets me amped! I am happily married to a wonderful man -- he also makes an excellent sous chef, however he thinks he is the head chef of Le Kitchen, so no one tell him otherwise! *wink*  We have aspirations of becoming parents one of these days...so wish me luck and baby dust! That sounds creepy...not dust made of babies, but like fairy dust. Oh, nevermind. ;)